Whenever I get that little heartbreaky feeling start to rise up, I breathe. Suck in some oxygen, breathe out the past. Starting today, I have this city to myself for five weeks, then I go on vacation for about 7 weeks. This will be the best time to let go. Sure, I will always love her. Just like you always love someone that’s dead. It sneaks up on you from time to time, but you don’t let it ruin your life. Or, you try not to. I’m going to go fund my personal ad and go on some dates until I leave for vacations in foreign lands like San Diego, Idaho, and Europe (It’s the Final Countdown!).
I fell asleep in the sun this afternoon after reading all of Cometbus #51. I rightfully feel good about myself even though the cute girl I gave my number to did not use it. I have many things going for me and the rest of the things I want(ed) will all fall in to place or are not meant to be mine. I want to learn how to let go. I want to not care. I want to not read in between the lines of “something kind of awesome” and “that’s all I’ll say about that.” I want to not read at all. I’m almost there. I need a band now. I need to write the “Epic Battle Scenes” for this and tear up the last of my good vocal chords. Breathe out the past. The past!
This Memorial Day, I pledge to try not to remember. To try to make new memories that outshine the old. To get my own something kind of awesomes going. To be thankful for what I have and go get what I want.
I played around with the recording device on my phone and the piano at my parents’ house that no one ever plays. Here’s what I was messing around with. One take, all improvisation. Some mistakes. The clicking at the start is my dad trying to open something in the kitchen or maybe just playing drums. You might have to turn things up to hear it.
Breathe out the past. I’m almost there.