Police Teeth, IfIHadAHiFi, The Bismarck – The Funhouse

Determination. I was bound and determined to enjoy myself this evening no matter how awkward or painful it was. Maybe I should not have gone, but I don’t care, I wanted to.

The Bismarck
I like The Bismarck. I really like that song about “Give me something to stop the bleeding.” The Bismarck were a bit sloppy this evening, but that’s okay. Actually, it’s more than okay. It set the tone for my ruminations for the evening. I mean, who cares that they make a couple tiny errors? Isn’t the point just to move around a little bit to loud music? Does it really matter what they are singing about? (I’d look up some lyrics, so I can quote them directly and without mistakes, but they are not freely available). It sounded like they have one of those anthemic drinking songs that are so hard for us prudes to get behind. I tried to let it slide. I mean, am I just going to listen to Minor Threat for the rest of my life and turn in to one of those asshats from Fremont that goes around kicking people in the face at hardcore shows? I’d like to think there is more to life than those three things that are, like, so important to the whole world that I don’t find as much importance in. And because of that I feel… I can’t keep up I can’t keep up I can’t keep up Out of step with the world! Oh, sorry, maybe just two of those things. The Bismarck were hilarious to watch and listen to. I had lots of fun observing their shenanigans and words and things. Their adoption of the Drive Hammered, Get Nailed campaign was pretty funny. What time is it?

My Wisconsin acquaintance, Al, informed me that IfIHadAHiFi was awesome before the show started. The Wisconsin contingent in the audience seemed to agree. I am pleased to report that Wisconsin folks are right about more than just frozen custard. These guys bring the dirty keyboard to the party. And they bring generous helpings of chaos and noise. My determination to have fun was not a requirement for this little group, they shared their joy with the whole room. They employed the classic “Let’s jump in the crowd” moves. I got bashed on the elbow with a guitar, but I didn’t mind. If I was thinking faster, I might have jumped on a guitarist and played bucking bronco. It was that kind of fun. The kind of fun where you don’t really know why you’re doing something, but you know you like it. They mentioned So Many Dynamos and I thought about saying that’s who IfIHadAHiFi sounded like, but they’re less formal dance and more spontaneous street party. Less polished and more carefree. However, when I yelled out “The Greeks!” a million times when they were trying to figure out who invented tuning, I got a cold shoulder. I’m going to boycott these bastards for the rest of my days. Okay, I’m kidding. This won’t really make any sense, but IfIHadAHiFi was a vision of my high school band years later. The guitarist was basically a white version of our guitarist, the bassist was a slight modification of our bassist and the drummer was a taller, longer haired, version of me. It was kind of weird to watch. Particularly because they had a fourth person and we only had three.

Police Teeth
Police Teeth are getting tighter all the time. Perhaps this was made more evident this evening by the first two bands (looser and more chaotic, in that order). I think I even heard some songs that I could get behind. Things like “Hanging tough” or some New Kids covers or something. But, I’m going to go ahead and say it: I hate that Northern California song. I had hoped they wouldn’t play it. Then, the drummer from HiFi yelled it out and I got all sad for a second. But I was determined to have fun, so I pointed out to my almost cordial neighbor the person that she brought with her from Fremont. I liked his white shoes. Wait, maybe I did that during their second to last song, the one about hydroplanes. That one doesn’t really fit at the end of their set. At least not at the end of a set at the Funhouse, where all three bands have been about a carefree attitude toward the world. “We’re making mistakes and we don’t care!” “We’re making a lot of noise and we don’t care!” “Sing along with us, since we don’t care except for this last song when we’re going to spend 5 or 6 minutes being all feedbacky and brooding oh, okay we’ll play the song that goes ‘Getting high, getting drunk, something something Bathory in Northern California’.” Okay, I always seem to talk crap about Police Teeth on here. They even called me out that one time. Truth be told, I own one of their records and I like to dance along with all the songs except that last one. Those guys could theoretically be one of my favorite bands. Maybe they’re working on me like Republican propaganda. I think I’ve seen them four times now, so they are staying on point and getting the message across to the American people by repeating that message as many times as possible. Now, if I just cared one little bit about getting high, getting drunk, or something something Bathory in Northern California, I’d be drooling all over my keyboard right now. If you’re into that stuff, you need to get out from behind your stack of High Times magazines or perfect pyramid of PBR cans and go to a Police Teeth show. Go to a couple and you’ll be singing along.

Unrelated: You ever stare at the sun and see how long you can go before your eyes hurt? I wonder how many people have gone blind from doing that. Eventually they learn not to stare at the sun because their eyes always hurt at one point, right?