NBA 2K23
◉ ◉ ○ ○ ○(2/5: not super good)
Playstation 5
2K (2022)
Hey bro, basketball.

Picked this up as part of PS+ and gave it a shot, since I don't think I've played a basketball game for probably 20 years. Apparently basketball games are now Monster Hunter level of detail MMO's? At least the career mode is. I started with that mode and quickly drowned in trying to decipher stats for the gangly, balding baller with the too-long arms that I created (and named Butts McGiggity at the prompting of my very adult partner). There were a thousand cut scenes that I started skipping almost immediately and then I was dropped in my home base. Do newly-drafted NBA stars get an entourage of assistants and a flashy condo downtown as part of the deal? Interesting.

Looking at the names of my crew, I noticed that my girlfriend was my manager and thought that was strange. So, I tried to go back and make a female player to start a WNBA career... not an option. Weird for 2023, guys. Anyhow, went back into my long-armed dude career and apparently there's a story of some beef between another guy and me? And my fans don't like me or something? What is happening with this basketball game? Why does it take an hour to get to the first game? And when you do get to the first game, there's no tutorial on what all the buttons do? I guess you've gotta be a long-time player to just jump into career mode. Anyways, I helped my team win the summer whatever, walked across town to the VP of plot advancement to do some thing about the artificial drama with who cares and then played my first NBA game. Felt good about scoring a point or two and earning a solid C and then hit up that main Playstation menu to pick a different game and never return to this one.

I guess I'll try again in another couple decades.

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Last updated: 09/23/2023
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