Alan Wake Remastered
◉ ◉ ○ ○ ○(2/5: not super good)
Playstation 5
Epic (2021)
Was this remastered from a PS1 game? Oh, it's a 2010 XBOX game. That's why it sucks, I guess.

Apparently, people like this game? It's not for me. I'm not into horror games, which is where this is supposed to land, so that might bias me against it. I played all the way through episode 1, waiting for a hook, but just couldn't get there. Perhaps it was the absolutely terrible delivery of the dialogue? Everything sounds like it is being read for the first time by someone who just wants to get through the day so they can get back to their real passions. Internal dialogue hints like "I wonder how to get up there" or whatever are delivered before you even have a chance to look around and then given to you three different ways nearly immediately. This dude is running for his life in a dark forest full of magically appearing ghost-zombies and just sounds absolutely unperturbed. I don't like it.

I'm also not into games that feel terrible to play. The camera is too far from the shoulder of our boy Alan. I think the flashlight is supposed to also be the visual cue for your aim, but I can never tell if I'm actually hitting anything. And why does Mr. Wake have the power to overcharge his flashlight to stun shadow-zombies? Oh wait, maybe he's the zombie. Is that the twist? Don't tell me, I don't care. I'm trying to cross a log over this river with this godforsaken terrible movement system and am too furious at wasting two hours of my life on this game to hear you tell me that "The story is good, actually." I'll never know because the gameplay is not good.

+1 star because it is set in my home state, though.

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Last updated: 09/23/2023
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