"I'm not touching youuuuuu, I'm not touching yooooouuuuu!"



I bet the zombies in this zombie game are pissed. As an older brother, I've definitely played the "I'm not touching you" game and watched younger siblings turn apoplectic. I bet if they were trapped in a futuristic prison on a cold-ass moon of Jupiter and had some action bro walking around taunting them all day they would definitely mutate into zombie-like creatures and slowly try to murder that bro.

And I mean slowly.

The combat in this game is infuriatingly slow. And most of the actions are running away or dodging left and right. Running is slow, dodging is in slow-motion, walking is slow... everything is slow except your death. Well, the animation of it is entirely too long sometimes, but dying happens pretty quick if you make a mistake or are learning the patterns of a new zombied up thing. It's sort of rogue-like if you're not great at games, and some of the respawn areas can put you pretty far back in fighting an array of monsters or in the middle of a fight. (If you die on the end boss, for example. Which you will.)

The story is a fine sci-fi/horror thing, the graphics are quite pretty, and the sound is good. You can mix up Control-like telekinesis, melee, dodging, and shooting, but it all just feels so tedious! On top of the molasses-drenched pace, none of the attack options seem to do that much different of a thing? In other complaints, I'm not a big horror game or movie fan, so was a bit annoyed at how the game relied on pretty standard tropes like jump scares, lots of blood, and "hey what's that in the shadows?" gags. I might have gotten a bit scared a couple times, though. Essentially, if you can stomach the combat choices, it is a good enough game to play, but man those combat choices are a pretty solid drawback.

"Stop hitting yourself!"

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