I think it might be possible to feel totally messed up and totally awesome at the same time. I’m attempting to grab the one and let go of the other and it’s sort of working. This playing music and recording it every day thing is helping a lot. I still probably need to get a therapist.

I ate a lot of cookies today, maybe that’s it.

I had a meeting with some music dudes regarding band possibilities this evening. That’s probably why I’m feeling pretty good. The potential of playing music with a band again is very exciting. I’m pretty sure that my battles with what seems like depression are directly linked to my involvement with music. It’s like I can’t feel any other way. At any rate, the dudes seem pretty cool, so we might try playing together next week. I’ll tote my Rhodes over if I can fix it in time and attempt to play and sing at the same time. There will be two guitars and a bass and if anyone wants to play drums, let me know. One of the dudes, Will, seemed to share quite a lot of the same musical tastes as me. If my schedule works out, I might meet up with him again at a show this weekend.

Tonight, after the meeting, I recorded a cover I’ve been playing. The piano part isn’t all that interesting. I did use the power of MIDI to erase a couple mistakes, but left the tempo inconsistencies in there. I don’t have a sustain pedal for the MIDI controller, and this would sound better with one. The vocals and piano were recorded without overdubs this time around. I’m trying to do that for all the songs.

come along with me now cause
there are things i been dying to tell you
the best of the worst things that you never needed to know
this is the kinda comedy where no ones laughing
cause its hard to

i’m a punch line who’s punch drunk with my fist in a broken mirror
there’s a party nearby, i can hear it
laughter in the distance and it all comes clear
sounds too simple
love is the only answer
everything else is just a train wreck

gonna stay up all night every night for the rest of my life
till the lines around my eyes grow deeper and more defined
you might ask me aren’t you dead inside and so damn tired
i say i have no idea
i’m not sleeping until after the dying is over

i can hear laughter in the distance and it all comes clear
sounds too simple
love is the only answer
loves a train wreck, you’re a mistake

Words and music by Rocky Votolato. I make no money from this. Go buy all of his records, he has a family to take care of.

I’m feeling so good, I might re-activate my successful personal ad. That would be a pretty terrible idea, but I’m not sure I care to do the right thing all the time anymore. It might even be fun for a while before things go horribly wrong. Or horribly right.