Today I got a new mattress and a new president, not in that order.

I listened to the inauguration speech while doing a calculus assignment at work today. I have thought a few times today that perhaps no one listened to it. The crowd of millions cheered wildly when Mr. Obama said “Get off your ass and help your neighbor” (I’m paraphrasing). The cynic in me thought that they were excited because the president was telling the people next to them to stop being so lazy. It seems everyone I come in contact with is interested only in entertainment and making sure that they are having fun all the time. Despite my usual reticence to appear to have fun, I do enjoy having fun and adventures. People who actually know me can recognize the signs of jubilance brewing beneath my carefully controlled features. I try to let it out as much as possible. It might be that I’m scared of having fun or scared of other people seeing me have fun. I don’t know, I’m sure I’ll work it out whenever I get therapy. I used to be pretty hilarious as a kid. I just take the smallest failures so seriously. I just care so much. I don’t want to stop caring and if I start deciding which failures to take seriously I start deciding what to care about and stop genuinely caring about everything. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, everyone thinks that our magic president will solve everything for us while they’re out having fun. I like to think I’m a different sort of person. I always think that I never do enough to make sure that everyone around me is having a good life. Yesterday, my neighbor joked as I was washing my car that they would pull their car out for me to wash as well. If I wasn’t trying to get to playing music with a friend, I probably would have taken her up on it. She has twins and probably doesn’t have time to wash her car. I should have said yes, but I was too selfish and wanted to get to figuring out how to string chords together so I can share my deepest secrets with five or six people in the basement of a punk house someday. I should be a better person. I should help more people. So when our new president said “you citizens are going to fix everything by re-learning how to work hard and sacrifice” (again, paraphrasing) I thought to myself “Mr. President, I’ve sacrificed what seems like everything, but you’re right, I need to do more. Maybe if I had done more I’d be in a better place now.”

So I went and bought a mattress. In my nearly 32 years of sleeping, I have never owned my own mattress. I can tell you the history of almost all the mattresses I’ve slept regularly on, actually. Until my 21st year, I slept on a beat up twin mattress that my parents bought before I can remember. After that, I shared a full size bed that I can’t remember the origins of, but I think it was from my parents or from her parents or maybe a thrift store. During my 23rd year, I shared a hard futon. It was the worst bed ever. When we moved to Seattle, we got a full sized bed from my grandma. After less than a year, I gave that full sized bed back (It’s now at the lake house. Last year, I slept in it for the first time since December 2000. There was nothing left to lose to it’s curse.) and traded it for my brother’s childhood twin bed. After a couple years of that thing, I was lucky enough to share another full size bed for a couple years (with flannel sheets sometimes!). Then I was downgraded to a 3″ piece of fabric covered foam that I found in the garage (I guess it is a futon). I slept on that for a year, because I don’t really care where I sleep. Plus, it made me tough. Today, I went to Ikea (may it burn in hell for all eternity) and bought a mattress for the first time in my life. It is full size and has a 25 year warranty. Maybe I should have gotten a twin.

What exciting stories I tell!

Successes:

Got a mattress.

Got a hug from my dad. He told me that not everything has to be perfect.

Yes, I guess that’s really it.

I’ll work harder tomorrow.