That’s what I want to believe in. I feel familiar patterns creeping back up on me. I keep circling back instead of spiraling away. I delete RSS feeds when they break my heart and then I resubscribe when I miss them. I go to places I forbade myself from and they constantly remind me of failure and burning and horrible pain. Circles, not spirals. I must fight this. Tomorrow I must wake up and find something inside myself to rid me of my ghosts. They certainly aren’t helping me live my awesome 2009 by haunting me and tormenting me. I will wake up tomorrow and realize they no longer exist!

Successes today:

signed up for organic produce delivery

recovered from my friday adventures by sleeping a million hours

worked on the rally car for several hours (I can’t move my arms!)

worked on goal #6 a tiny bit as I am starting to get a sinking feeling about date #1.

got some school work done.

I’m now exhausted and need to sleep.