Ladies and gentlemen,

The expedition is complete. However, through no lack of trying (more than 10.8 miles hiked, 2900 feet of altitude ascended and descended in those hikes, several hippie sculptures destroyed, four calculus assignments completed, and only a few hours of restless sleep), attempts to poke a glacier were unsuccessful. Exploration of the human soul showed that what is needed is not more time for contemplation but more distraction from thinking. In total, the expedition was an adventure with it’s share of mishaps and minor successes. Therefore, the crew considers this expedition a moment that the nation can take note of and look back on with some small amount of pride, despite the failure to reach the main goal. What follows are several dispatches from the expedition crew as they traveled towards the goals.

8-5-08, 10:30AM
Base camp is set up and arranged. The travel to the camp was notably uneventful. Worries about lack of availability proved to be unfounded. Though the camp is populated by many flying beasts, there were several suitable sites for human habitat. The weather is warm, but slightly breezy in the shade. In a word: perfect. As expected, there is no cellular telephone service. Thank god. All there is is the roar of the river and the rustlings of several other mountain expeditions.

An executive decision has been made. The crew will take the established glacier trail today and trek 4 miles to determine how to best reach the glacier. It is possible we may achieve our goal earlier than anticipated. Preparations are beginning now.

8-5-08, 11:01 AM
Scouting expedition leaves.

8-5-08, 12:02 PM
been walking hiking climbing about an hour. probably 2 miles in. everything is beautiful except what’s left of the trail. it is extraordinarily rough. it is also turning uphill at this point, so will not reach the glacier. i’ll walk another hour and see where it leads. i think i might want to be a park ranger someday.

8-5-08, 1:55 PM
reached glacier basin camp. no glaciers. just a basin. possible that glacier poking might not happen. dipping feet in river. it’s cold. it amazes me, the erosion in geologic time. like if we wait long enough, the mountains won’t be so hard to climb. but i don’t erode. people don’t erode. just dirt and stones. but i understand geologic time more than most, i think. returning to base camp soon. tomorrow will be more difficult.

8-5-08, 5:30 PM
the sun is moving towards the mountains. night arrives early in the valley. prognosis for glacier exploration is doubtful. the river is flowing and difficult to cross. the crew may have sustained injury on today’s 6.2+ mile expedition. 1800 feet up to glacier basin and 1800 feet down. the morning will decide if the expedition continues up the river bed or heads for a different route to perhaps a different glacier. crew spirits are low and the expedition is having an undesirable effect. instead of erosion, we’re seeing a build up. a blockage of the river. a reminder that happy moments really mean very little unless they’re shared moments.

we must stay the course. the goal must be realized!

8-5-08, 6:50 PM
contents of broccoli container found to be full of bugs and worms. hot dogs and marshmallows have been prescribed. the moon is up. and it is waning. or waxing. not sure which.

8-6-08, 10:05 AM
after a hearty breakfast of foods that begin with “o”, the captain gave a motivational speech. “Men, are we not here for adventure? Is the time not at hand for it? Then let the expedition go as planned! Do not let these low feelings rule you! This is our time down here! We must go on!” and so, the crew decided to follow the raging river, towards the glacier. what will come of it, only time will tell.

8-6-08, 10:40 AM
The expedition has been halted by local authorities. And an impassable river. Heading to Paradise to try alternate means of achieving goals. Prognosis bleak.

8-6-08, 2:01 PM
about a mile up cirith ungol skyline trail. weather cold and ominous. crew ill-prepared. moving on nonetheless. within 1/2 mile of glacier views…

8-6-08, 3:20 PM
summited high skyline trail. future expeditions might use this route. raining. elevation 6800+ feet. about 800 feet higher than glacier basin camp.

8-6-08, 6:15 PM
successfully returned to base camp. journey to and from “Paradise” fraught with delays. transport vehicle had dead battery due to driver idiocy. compression started down the hill and all seems well, however. camp is dry and usable, despite the rain. though our goals have not been reached, there are several options for future expeditions with an expanded crew. would like to reach Camp Muir next trip or take Pebble Creek trail or Paradise Glacier trail. or possibly wilderness camp at Glacier Basin and go well beyond. though the expedition was unsuccessful we learned a lot about endurance, about the impossibility of preparing for everything and about one foot then the next. we have new goals, though our hopes remain unchanged. and in the end, we’re all just shooting stars anyways and our actions don’t matter to rivers or mountains. when we’re gone, they will remain.

…

That’s all that I wrote while on this trip. I’m looking at a map now and it looks like i should have just kept climbing on the scouting expedition. i would have been able to poke the inter glacier had i just gone about half a mile, maybe even less. that’s pretty typical. at any rate, i’ve uploaded a bunch more pictures in my gallery and put some links in here. now i’m going to go to the SLUBP. don’t worry about all the depressing stuff i’ve written and said. go have a good time. you deserve it.

** Old Wordpress comments **

your sister says:
August 10, 2008 at 11:44 pm
as long as the hair metal band hair isn’t required i’m down to go sometime… but i can only promise i won’t complain most of the time.