The thing that saved me from the dark depression of my first pseudo-divorce was joining a new band. I’ve been struggling hard to learn how to play on my own, but it just hasn’t been coming together fast enough. I have to decide whether or not music is really something I’m able to do. I want to play shows again sometime, but I’m not confident that anyone else wants me to. It’s easy to be picky in a town with hundreds of millions of wonderful musicians, I understand. It’d be nice to be one of them. But I still love music. Listening to it, singing along in the car, singing along at shows, the hope the heartache the joy and the sorrow of it all. One of my favorite songs recently has been Jeremy Enigk’s ‘Canons.’ I’ve been trying to play it for quite some time but just can’t really get everything perfect.

With the “snow” day today, I spent a significant amount of time working on a recording of this song. I thought it might be a good audition tape for a band or something. Listening to it this evening has me thinking about quitting music, but I’m not looking for “wow, that sounds good.” or any comments or compliments. What I’d like to do is take some singing lessons and some piano lessons and some audio recording lessons. What I’d like to do is just be awesome at something for once instead of being instantly mediocre at everything. No, no, this is supposed to be good stuff. ‘Canons’ is a great song. I’ve tried to represent it as well as I could. I’m nervous about posting it because it is the first instance of me singing falsetto in my recorded musical career. But you can’t do Jeremy Enigk vocals without falsetto or magical elfin powers. I only got the first verse listenable, but I did it without any overdubs or anything like that. Listen if you dare.

I’m now going to go to sleep and let my new tattoo #2 heal a bit. It’s not snowing yet, so I might have to go to work tomorrow.