i was just thinking about what i'd rather be doing. i think i might like to climb mountains some day.

but if i quit now, i'd hate myself forever. well, more than i already do, that is.

and, of course, it is not possible for me to just quit everything and do something selfish. i'm sure that sounds terribly conceited, but that's how it is. it makes any act of selfessness pretty meaningless, actually. it's not possible for me to think any other way without deep regret at a later time.

i saw my newly homeless kid walking "home" from school. and i didn't stop and find out the story. because i am a terrible person.

but i guess everyone knows this already.